Building bridges

And accepting they might lead nowhere

Blenheim Covered Bridge, Schoharie County, NY

The Blenheim Covered Bridge leads to nowhere.

Hurricane Irene destroyed the original structure, sweeping pieces of the relic more than 30 feet down Schoharie Creek.

The original bridge cost $6,000 to build. The new bridge, propped 15 feet above where it originally sat to avoid floodwaters of the future, cost $7 million to complete. Quite the pricetag for a bridge with no mass use.

If only we built more bridges like these in our own lives.

When I visited this bridge with a friend — quite by accident, I might add, because I didn’t even give it a glance until she pointed it out — I respected the history, but I’ll admit, I struggled to see the point. But as I remember walking lightly across the grains of the new wood, watching the water rush by below, it occurs to me:

The Blenheim Covered Bridge is forgiveness.

Someone you love has hurt you deeply. That bridge you’d built just for them, leading straight into your soul, is crumbled. It stings to think of all the time and strength you’d spent building that bridge in the first place, only for them to torch it to the ground.

I know how this feels, all too well. And as someone who spent too much time kicking around the rubble, let me give some unsolicited advice.

You’ve got to rebuild the bridge.

Not for them. For you.

You need a Blenheim Bridge jutting proudly from your heart. New, strong, flood-protected, leading to nowhere the person who inspired the reconstruction can ever go.

Because forgiveness is a bridge you build that leads to a place only you can create. It’s a peaceful place, just for you, where you’re safe from the flood of that other person’s bad behavior. They can’t see it, or find it. They don’t have to know it’s there — in fact, it’s better if they don’t.

Forgiveness is for you and no one else. You’re the point. That’s your Blenheim Bridge. And your peace is on the other side.